Today I became a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers, 70 pounds lighter!  A goal of mine since 1996, when I first joined Weight Watchers across the street from the World Trade Center.  I was then about a pound shy of 200 pounds.  I had a wonderful, inspiring leader there.  This gorgeous tall African-American woman with a beautiful heart and a great attitude!  I would love to thank her for helping me build a solid foundation from which to take this journey.  She inspired me so much, and to this day, I remember some of the special moments I shared in that meeting room with her.  I remember her complimenting me when I came into the meeting one day with an outfit that actually fit me, my hair done, and makeup on.  She noticed, and told me I looked great.  She would always ask the members how they were feeling.  One day, after my boyfriend dumped me, she asked me how I was doing, and I crumbled into tears.  She actually hugged me!  Back then, when I was single, living alone in the big city, knowing no one, that hug really helped me so much!  Weight Watchers meetings have always been so much more for me than just weighing in.  I can not believe some people just pay their dues, weigh in and leave!

I think what finally pushed me over the edge to go to a meeting was seeing a picture that was taken of me for a church directory.  When I saw the picture, I could not believe it was me!  Then I started to blame the photographer, like it was his fault I looked so big!  It was the lighting he used!  Or the angle!  Well, after that passed I realized something had to change, and now!  I was so nervous that first day.  I had no idea what to expect.  I think I would have gone sooner, but I had so many assumptions about what a “diet center” would be like.  They would sit me down and give me a “diet” to eat each day.  Telling me I needed to cook all these fancy meals, and eat something green at every meal of course.  And since I never ate green foods, why bother going?  But I had finally reached that point where I would do ANYTHING not to look and feel this way anymore.  And how about how I SOUNDED?  I hated that I HAD to wear pantyhose every day to work… and you could hear that nylon swishing swishing swishing as my thighs rubbed together as I walked down the halls at my office.  People could hear me coming a mile away!  It was so embarrassing.  And of course, I would always get rashes on the inside of my thighs from having them rub together all the time.

Well, after joining that first time, I lost about 50 pounds.  Yes, that is right!  I was so close to my goal – maybe about 15 pounds away.  But then I got a boyfriend, and a “life” and also got cocky!  I figured I knew the program and could do it on my own.  And hey, when you have a new life and a new boyfriend, who needs food?  You live on love!  Well, turned out to be more like lust.  You know, very exciting but doesn’t last long.  After that ended, I began to struggle with my weight again, but began to move, so I didn’t have that home base anymore with Weight Watchers.  I moved to Connecticut, then took a long trip to San Diego and Hawaii (about three months), then back to Connecticut.  When my wanderdust settled, I began again my attempts at weight loss.  But it became a hobby at that point.  I would go to meetings for a while and then quit when I got bored, lazy, or cocky.  I wish I could remember how many times I re-joined.  If I had to guess, I’d say at least six times.  Over the next few years, the pounds would slowly creep back up on me, 10-20 pounds a year.  When I joined Weight Watchers again, this last time, (for the last time because this time it is for life!) I was 186 pounds, a size 16.

There have been many struggles along the way.  There are those times when I start to get lazy and bored with the program again.  And cocky.  Now, when I notice that happening, I realize it is time for a New Resolve!  Something my wonderful WW leader Katie taught me about.  Katie has been such an inspiration to me.  Because she not only shares the weekly Weight Watcher’s program with us.  She shares her life, her thoughts and her heart with us.  She is so brave!  She shares stories from her own life, her own struggles.  This is so inspiring!  I learn so much from her.  To hear about her struggles and how she deals with them is so helpful.  And when she shared about her New Resolve, I was really affected by that.  If Katie, after years of being a Lifetime Member AND a Leader, still needs a New Resolve… then so do I!  I made a commitment to myself that whenever I started to slip – like skipping my exercise for a few days in a row, or not tracking my points for a couple days, or going way overboard for more than a day or two… I sit down and write out a NEW game plan.  That is right.  A NEW one – for my New Resolve.  I write down a plan to get out of my rut.  Like new exercises, new recipes, new schedule.  I also hop on the internet and read fitness articles.  There is a TON of information out there for free, on sites like weightwatchers.com, ivillage.com, fitnessmagazine.com or prevention.com.  So, each time I got into a rut, I would try something new.  A new exercise class or some new machine at the gym.  I would pick up a different magazine at the supermarket, or order a book from amazon.com.  Something that would keep me motivated and not bored.  I need to keep it interesting, spice things up every now and then.  I think also, that changing my exercise routine really helps to make sure that I keep burning calories efficiently.  Because once I have been doing the same exercise for a while, it becomes too easy, and I do not think my heart rate gets up as much as it needs to be, so I burn calories most efficiently!  I also added weight training, and I believe that has added more muscle to my body, and in turn, my body burns more calories now no matter what I’m doing, because the added muscle increased my metabolism.  I used to be one of those people who did not want to build any muscle for fear of gaining weight.  Well, I am a believer now!  I know that I can be slim, trim, and healthier by including weight training in my exercise.

I could not say there was one thing that made me a success this time.  It really is a combination of things.  I used all the tools that Weight Watchers gives us this time.  All the suggestions.  Like the Tools for Living.  They sound hokey, but they really helped me so much.  I wrote lots and lots this time.  Not just in my food journal, but in a regular journal.  My thoughts, feelings, ideas, etc.  And I used the Tools for Living as springboards for journal entries.

I also was determined to make exercise a permanent part of my life this time.  In the past, I have tried becoming a gym rat – but that is not really me.  I would go like crazy for a couple months, and then lose motivation.  This time, I do belong to a gym, and go there to use the facilities, but it’s not my main exercise.  I have two exercises that I love now.  Running and Jazzercise.  First I will tell you about running.

I used to run in high school, with my Dad, around the school track.  After high school I got out of the habit.  When I tried to take it up again a couple years ago, assuming I could just jump right back in where I left off, I was shocked and saddened that my knees hurt.  So, I decided I would be a walker.  But I still craved to run!  I love that feeling of the wind, and catching some air under those nikes.  And it is so much more efficient than walking!  But I was resolved.  Then I read some articles about incorporating a little bit of running into my walking routine (like one minute running, then one minute walking) to spice it up and increase calorie burn.  And I am all for increasing calorie burn!  But I was worried about my knees.  I went to a sports medicine doctor who told me there was nothing wrong with my knees, but I probably just needed a good stretching routine, and to take it easy.  Now that I have added a LOT of stretching (after a walking warm up) and do my run-walk workout, then stretch well again, I do not have the knee issues anymore.  Yahoo!  I started out with one minute running, then one minute walking… and each week added an extra minute of running, till I built up to ten minutes running and one minute walking (or two minutes walking. J  One of my new goals now is to someday run a marathon.  But I’m not going to push it!  My goal is to do that by the end of 2003.

The other exercise I love is Jazzercise.  This is so fun!  It’s like an aerobics class, only better.  It incorporates fun dance moves with aerobics, and uses all contemporary music you hear on the radio.  The classes I attend are structured like this:  40 minutes of dance/aerobics, then 20 minutes of toning using light hand held weights, as well as floor/mat exercises for abs, butt, legs.  It’s fabulous!  I love it because it works my whole body, and I know that I can do it for the rest of my life.  There is a low-impact version of everything, so even when I don’t feel like bouncing, I can still do it.  I also love it because the instructors make it fun, they’re really perky and chatty.  They don’t just say “squat, right left”.  They talk like real people.  It’s become like getting together with a bunch of girlfriends several times a week to work out.  I never thought I would be into group aerobics classes.  I always hated them at the gyms in the past.  But this is such a different experience.  I really think it’s the atmosphere that the students and the instructors create that makes it so different.  I sound like I work for them, but I don’t!  I’m just a HUGE FAN of Jazzercise!

Another thing that helped me this time was setting up goals with PRIZES for myself this time.  Right at the beginning, I wrote down prizes for myself for each 5 pound loss.  I even posted them as a page on my homepage, so I was commited to them.  This was really motivating.  I would force myself to go out and get myself the prizes.  Like a new pair of earings, a new hairdo, and a new workout outfit.  Workout outfits are great.  I usually shop at the discount stores for these so I don’t spend a ton of money.  And they’re usually made of stretchy material, so even though I bought some when I weighed 20 pounds heavier, they still fit fine!  They seem to mold to the body well. J

Now that I’ve reached my goal weight, and become a Lifetime Member, I’m not quitting.  I’m going to continue to set goals for myself because I believe that is the only way to keep myself motivated and stay on plan.  I will also continue to attend meetings every week, and weigh in as often as they let me!  I need that accountability.  Want to hear my new goals?

I have had a dream for years now of becoming a Weight Watchers Leader.  Being around these wonderful, inspiring ladies over the years has had such a positive impact on my life.  I believe it would be such a great thing to do, to be able to help others learn what I have, to give back a little of what I have been given.  Because I truly know now that anyone can do this.  You just have to want it enough, have a reason that is strong enough to keep you going, and an attitude that you will never give up, never, no matter what happens.  I don’t know if I will be able to become a Weight Watchers Leader, but I’m going to give it my best shot, and see what happens.  To work at something I love and truly believe in would be such a great accomplishment.

Another goal of mine is to someday run a marathon.  I don’t have to be first, I just want to finish!  I want to continue to challenge myself, and this would be such an exciting challenge!  I might even do it to raise money for cancer research to make it even more exciting!

One more thing I want to share.  The great side effects of meeting my goal.  I thought the best part of weight loss would be looking great.  But that’s not it!  It’s how I feel about myself.  I am so much more confident now.  I am much more assertive now, in my work and also in my personal life.  I suppose a lot of my self-esteem was tied up with my weight problem.  I know that sounds aweful, but it’s the truth.  Even my posture would announce it as I walked into a room.  I used to always slouch, look at the ground, trying to be invisible.  Now I’ve got my head up and shoulders straight.  Thanks are due partly to Jazzercise for improving my posture with exercise!  But also, because of my increased confidence.  Because of my new attitude, my work life and personal life have improved dramatically!  Even my co-workers and supervisors have noticed and commented on it.  I’m much more assertive and in control of things now.  Amazing what a little self-esteem will do.

One more thought to share.  On my calendar, in the month of January of this year, was a quote from George Eliot:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”